Hydrogen for President | Page 44

[Oxygen holds his hands in prayer while Hydrogen looks on, arms folded.]
Oxygen: …and I’m sorry for saying no one could ever trap you in a box because you’d just get out the cracks! I’m sorry, Hydrogen!
Hydrogen: Thank you, Oxy.

Hydrogen: Now do it again, but shorter.
[Oxygen recoils.]
Oxygen (shouting): What?!

[Oxygen spreads his arms.]
Oxygen: Okay! To sum it up, I’m sorry for making fun of your height!
[Hydrogen puts her hands on her hips.]
Hydrogen: No, I mean shorter!

[Oxygen hunches over to become shorter.]
Oxygen: I’m sorry for making fun of you for only having one proton! I’m sorry for patting you on the head and calling you short-tempered and comparing you to Napoleon! I’m sorry for implying you’d be a terrible politician and reminding you of all the waiters who gave you kids’ menus! I’m sorry for saying you play basketball with subatomic particles and use electron orbitals as inner tubes and quantum-tunnel through locked doors and get pulled around by the weak nuclear force! I’m sorry for referring to you as “Star-berry Shortcake” when you tried to get those desserts off the top shelf and accidentally knocked over the…
[Hydrogen pats Oxygen on the head. Carbon and Nitrogen look on, amused.]